Sexy vs Steady… Asking for a friend

Written while listening to Kings of Leon


In a world where we are constantly encouraged to think rationally and thoroughly, why do we throw logic out the window when it comes to love? Do you know? Because I will be the first to admit that I don’t. When faced with the choice of what appears to be sexy and what is steady? Why is it hard to choose? Perhaps it’s human nature to choose excitement over stability. I mean I get that. Spontaneous plans and adventure beat a night in. Yet in the middle of a natural disaster would you rather have Steady Eddie/Ellie by your side with a well thought out emergency plan and a well-stocked kit to boot or Sexy Steve/Steph who’s not home yet because he/she’s a free spirit and has no notion of time and is unaware that a natural disaster has even occurred. Perhaps my scenario verges on dramatic but the choice is obvious. It’s always Steady Eddie/Ellie. Yet we love, Sexy Steve/Steph.

If we were to break down the sexy behavior, what would we get?
Hot one day, and cold the next. Unacceptable behavior in our friends’ eyes and yet we willingly justify it. In the end we say we cannot possibly choose Steady because our hearts scream for Sexy. Ahh! Herein lies the root of our issues or the root of mine. My heart. I cannot speak for y’all but I can definitely say that my heart is to blame.
Blaise Pascal famously wrote

“The heart has it’s reasons, which reason knows not of”

That used to be my favorite quote when I was 12. Why I thought I had any idea of what love was at 12 is beyond me but thank you to the teacher who wrote this quote on the blackboard because it never left my heart. It was my favorite quote for years and it still is,  less so these days as it’s become too real. Selena Gomez drives the point home with:

“The heart wants what it wants”

And yet the Bible tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things. So then why do we give it a megaphone?

If the heart is deceitful and feelings are fleeting then why are we making lifetime decisions on transitory emotions. It’s because Disney didn’t teach us that love is a choice. One that we make daily. Disney didn’t teach us that love grows. We missed a lot after “and they lived happily ever after”. A lot that I’m still learning, and trying to figure out. What I do know is that, these fleeting feelings are kind of like rose-tinted glasses. They don’t let us see or think objectively. It’s easy to see when you’re on the outside looking in, your feelings aren’t involved. Which is why I am able to tell my friends that they deserve better, it’s easy to see as much. Oh but I’ve been on the other side of this. My Sexy Steve had a French accent and looked like Ryan Reynolds. He for sure made my knees go weak, he was fun, flirty and spontaneous. I could only thank my friends for being honest with me and helping me to take off the glasses long enough to see that I was not headed down a good path. So here is my question, how do you break it down to your friend that the person that they’re interested in just isn’t into them? Do you tell them in a loving manner or do you stay back as you watch them bend until they break? What makes a good friend? One that stays back and waits for the heartbreak or one that aims to bring clarity to the matter before heartbreak ensues?


Top 3: Toronto Edit

MDW is meant to be a HOT celebration that Winter has ended and Summer has finally begun! When I think of Memorial Day, I think of hot weather, all-white outfits, and fresh fruit and fun all around. To be real, Summer is something I have been looking forward to for months. Heck, I even tried skipping winter this year but had very little luck haha! Which is why it’s even harder to explain that when MDW came around I headed North to cold Toronto. Ahaha! Life is hilarious! Toronto was in the 60s-70s throughout the weekend, and although I wore a jacket the whole time, I have zero complaints.

Toronto was clean, quiet, and such a chill city to visit. If you are feeling overwhelmed with how loud NYC could be, Toronto is your city. This was my first weekend in Canada (I definitely plan on going back) and I filled my days with all of the tourist attractions I could think of.

Here are my top 3 attractions:

1. Niagara Falls

Niagara Falls from the NY state line and from Ontario? Yup!

Ride on the Hornblower Niagara Cruise for the wildest experience you can imagine. We got freakishly close to the falls, it felt like being in the middle of a whirlpool. Insane!

2. The CN Tower

At one point this tower held the record for being the WORLD’s tallest free-standing structure! Standing tall at 1,1815.3 ft, you can see this beautiful building from almost anywhere in Downtown Toronto. And when I heard that there was a glass floor, well I just had to check it out! What I failed to realize that is that it stood high at the 1,122 ft. Walk on the glass floor of the CN Tower? Sure. Properly shaking but sure!

3. Thousand Islands

Touring through the castles of the Thousand Islands was amazing! There are 1,864 islands and the castles are as impressive as you could imagine. And did you know that the Thousand Island dressing was named after this place? Yumm!

Canada was an absolute dream! Equal parts relaxing and exhilarating!

Morning Routine

I must share a secret with you, I wear very little makeup. By very little, I mean I wear a lip crayon which I sometimes leave my house without but always put on before getting to my destination 😉👄

Why don’t I wear makeup? I guess that’s the real secret, yea? Why does someone who loves makeup not wear any? The truth is, I rather stay in bed and read/ meditate before I officially begin my day 🤷🏻‍♀️ If sleep is essential to my body then these couple of minutes are essential to my mental well-being.

You must be thinking of all of the money that I’m saving on makeup and you are absolutely right, I’ve saved a ton. Except for I haven’t! Haha! I don’t use makeup but I allocate all I would spend to skincare. A decision I made at 18 and I’ve not regretted once 😊

While I sometimes leave my house without my trusted lip crayon, I never leave without a good layer of sunscreen.

On MOST days, I…

Stretch in bed

Reach for my 1L water bottle and try to drink as much of it as I can.

Open up YouVersion and read a devotional. Pray over all of the things I’m grateful for and the ones I’m yet to figure out.

Open up Spotify and play my music on shuffle. Hit shuffle a couple of times until something matches my mood or the mood I hope to be in. Haha!

Hop in the shower. I don’t always wash my face in the morning since I wash it at night and I don’t want to fully strip my face of it’s essential oils. If I do, I use Buche de Noel, which is seasonal but is very similar to Angels on Bare Skin, and do my best to do even gentler circular motions so as not to over-cleanse.

Reach for my Eau Roma Water Toner, couple of spritz and remove the excess with a cotton pad.

I apply a thin layer of Squalane Facial Cream and gently massage my face.

Let the soak for a minute and apply my SPF 30 Oil-Free Moisturizer. It’s quite thick but I have been using it for the past year and it’s not caused any breakouts 👌🏽

On days when I have a bit more time or feel like I need an extra hint of color, I’ll reach for Liquid Bronzer and mix a drop or two into my sunscreen and it makes a world of a difference.

Because my aim is to glow from the inside out, 9 out of 10 times, I’ll start my day with a green smoothie. If I don’t eat anything healthy for the rest of the day, I’ll at least have had this.

Rain or shine, I never leave my house without at least one pair of sunglasses. The area around our eyes is quite thin and unnecessary squinting is avoidable 💁🏻‍♀️🕶

When export doesn’t meet import. Ha!

There was meant to be an export process when I switched servers but unfortunately, there was a hiccup. A hiccup that has forced me to begin again. Genesis literally means “new beginnings” so here we go!

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” —Joseph Campbell

March 2018 in Montañitas, Ecuador